Some of the issue is the models. They look like this:
And I look like this even when some good lighting and clever angles are employed.
I do plenty of this to myself, but outside forces don't make it easier. These are all things that were said to me or about me in the past:
- That is a great outfit for a larger woman. Read: It is really the best you can do given that you are dealing with all that fat. I mean, a thin woman would do something else better, but this hides you pretty well.
- You have such a pretty face. Read: the rest of you is kind of a wreck, but if I just look at your face, I can see something ok.
- She is nice, but the thing is, she has a big butt. I overheard this one when I was 17. For the record, I was 20 pounds thinner than I am now. A guy I went on a couple dates with but we decided we were just friends was talking to the guy I thought I was flirting successfully with. The second guy did an about-face after that conversation I overheard them having. I was hurt at the time. I found out 15 years later that the second guy is gay and likely looking for an excuse, but I didn't know that at the time.
- Since you've had kids, this kind of jeans will work for you. This one was from an employee at a clothes store when I was getting help picking out jeans to try on. For the record - I have never had children and didn't mention anything about it during our 15-second interaction when I asked for help. But apparently, my hips tell a story of multiple births.
I'll close with a shout-out to someone who I think is doing it right. It's Carolyn from the blog Diary of a Sewing Fanatic. In a world of very young, adorable and popular size 2 sewing bloggers, Carolyn is a plus-sized grandmother. She has posted about the unkind comments people have made about her size and it is so nice to see her get so much support from her readers. Plus, I love seeing her projects, reading about her obsession with Olivia Pope's wardrobe on Scandal, her positive outlook on life and her addiction to buying fabric that I totally relate to. She doesn't define herself by her size and neither should the rest of us. If you don't read her blog already, check it out.