Plus Size Labels

Lately I have been thinking a lot about body image.  It is a struggle when you are into sewing and fashion and you are over a size 6.  And for the record, I am well over a size 6.  I usually cut a size 12-14 for the top of dresses, and if it is fitted, I cut a 16-18 for the bottom - a full two sizes bigger for the hips.  I am classified as plus size.  For me, this has been a tough term to own.

Some of the issue is the models.  They look like this:

(I want to take them home and feed them, the poor, hungry things.)
And I look like this even when some good lighting and clever angles are employed. 

Which, when you spend too much time comparing yourself to, can set you down the path to some unnecessary and unproductive self-loathing.  (This dress is Burda 7053, which I haven't blogged about yet.)

 To make things more difficult, it seems like you have two choices - hate your own body and constantly be on a diet with the goal of being unhealthily thin and then hating yourself more when you always come up short, or in a state where you say "I'm ok.", which is totally frowned on.  You can't embrace your size if you aren't a size 0.  You can't win.

I do plenty of this to myself, but outside forces don't make it easier.  These are all things that were said to me or about me in the past:

• That is a great outfit for a larger woman.  Read:  It is really the best you can do given that you are dealing with all that fat.  I mean, a thin woman would do something else better, but this hides you pretty well.
• You have such a pretty face.  Read: the rest of you is kind of a wreck, but if I just look at your face, I can see something ok.
• She is nice, but the thing is, she has a big butt. I overheard this one when I was 17.  For the record, I was 20 pounds thinner than I am now.  A guy I went on a couple dates with but we decided we were just friends  was talking to the guy I thought I was flirting successfully with.  The second guy did an about-face after that conversation I overheard them having.  I was hurt at the time.   I found out 15 years later that the second guy is gay and likely looking for an excuse, but I didn't know that at the time.
• Since you've had kids, this kind of jeans will work for you.  This one was from an employee at a clothes store when I was  getting help picking out jeans to try on.  For the record - I have never had children and didn't mention anything about it during our 15-second interaction when I asked for help.  But apparently, my hips tell a story of multiple births.

I am hardly alone in my struggles.  A lot of women struggle with the same kinds of issues. But I now officially am going to own the label "Plus Size".  And I am also going to still exercise and eat clean and know that it doesn't mean that I hate who I am.  Spending any amount of time hating our own bodies is destructive and I am not going to do it.  I recognize that I may have to remind myself of this again. 

I'll close with a shout-out to someone who I think is doing it right.  It's Carolyn from the blog Diary of a Sewing Fanatic. In a world of very young, adorable and popular size 2 sewing bloggers, Carolyn is a plus-sized grandmother.  She has posted about the unkind comments people have made about her size and it is so nice to see her get so much support from her readers.  Plus, I love seeing her projects, reading about her obsession with Olivia Pope's wardrobe on Scandal, her positive outlook on life and her addiction to buying fabric that I totally relate to.  She doesn't define herself by her size and neither should the rest of us.  If you don't read her blog already, check it out.